The Harder Way, the Better Way

"I wanted a baby without the agony of waiting and uncertainty, but all these years later I can say with confidence: for me, the harder way was the better way.... [T]he best gifts, like the gifts of my sons and my daughters,...are those that invite our participation, our prayer, our desire, and only then, when we have so much more to give, our gratitude" --Christie Purifoy, page 117 of Placemaker

I received my copy of Christie Purifoy's new release, Placemaker, in the mail last week. I have a rather silly habit of opening books to random pages--usually without considering first--and reading whatever I see there. This delightful new purchase was no exception, as I lifted it from its cardboard wrapping, and the paragraph I saw is the one from which I have quoted above. 

What a serendipitous spot to turn to! I immediately thought, "This book is as good as I hoped it would be!"

Of course, the beauty and delight of Placemaker are no surprise, keeping step with everything else of Christie's that I have read. But the ideas of this quote are particularly meaningful to me, as they represent the spirit that I want to acquire as I wait to be able to have children. 

I long for the day when I can fully agree with that first sentence, and I am thankful that part of me, at least, agrees with it now. My feelings, unsurprisingly, fluctuate as circumstances fluctuate. But, when I'm not overcome by difficult emotions, I know that God is giving me the best gifts for my particular story, blessings that I will only be able to appreciate when I can see the full picture, the full story. 

And, so, I intend to meditate on these words, so I can hold onto the thought that this harder way is the better way, that my desire and my participation are making the fulfillment all the sweeter and all the more worth the wait.