Unexpected Encouragement

I was walking back to my apartment from the mail room when, without warning, my peaceful frame of mind gave way to disturbance. A young woman came down the stairs of her apartment, which landed her immediately in front of me, where she turned and walked down the path right smack in my view. An older baby rested on her hip.

The dark thoughts that assail me at such times popped into my mind, jealousy and annoyance swirling together in a whirlpool that sought to capsize me. Why her? the angry voice of my mind asked. Why does she get to have a baby? What's so special about her and better than me? 

I was trying to keep the familiar thoughts firmly in my mind, held back from showing on my face. The little girl's position had her facing partially toward me as she bobbed along in her mother's grasp. I met her gaze as she rotated her head, and she smiled. Then she not only smiled but pointed at me. Not a reaching gesture--she just pointed, like she was making a statement.

A jolt seemed to pass through me. The bright expression she wore and the warmth of her gesture inexplicably felt like they carried a message for me, from God. It felt like He was whispering to me knowingly, reassuringly, "I see you." And the underlying message I sensed was, "I haven't forgotten your desire for children and your years of praying and hoping. I know the plans I have for you. Keep waiting on Me."

And so I left what typically would have been an unsettling encounter instead feeling newly encouraged, refreshed in my hope, and giving thanks to God for His mysterious ways.